My Personal Accomplishment

I just got some really exciting news at work the other day and I can’t help but blog about it. One of the major projects I’ve been working on for the past couple of months is a survey for the Commuter Program. We have actually been talking about doing something like this since last semester but for whatever reason we weren’t able to do it then. At the beginning of this semester Daniella told me that this was a project that we really wanted to get done so she asked me if I would be comfortable putting the survey together. Of course I said yes even though I didn’t even really know what to put on the survey. I had a lot of help from Daniella and within a month of being asked to do it, the survey was in the Commuter Center for students to take. Once students were finished taking the survey, we had our Administrative Assistant insert the answers into Student Voice.

This survey is really important to us because we are currently trying to make the Commuter Center a permanent space on campus and we knew that this survey would provide a lot of good data for that process. The survey was put out before Spring Break and I am currently in the process of analyzing the data and putting the open ended questions into themes. I must say I have the experience of analyzing my action research data to thank in this process because I feel I have a pretty good understanding of how to form themes and use quotes from the students.

Now that I’ve explained the project I have to tell the good news. A few days ago a received an email from our representative from Student Voice asking us if we would be willing to “share” the survey on the Student Voice website. What this means is that all universities who use Student Voice will have access to our survey (not the data) so they can have an idea how to create a survey such as ours. According to the Student Voice representative a lot of universities are looking to create a survey similar to ours and he felt these universities could benefit from seeing ours as a starting point.

When I saw this email I got so excited I ran into Daniella’s office to tell her. She was really excited too and as I walked away she said to me, “Congratualtions!” That was when it really hit that this is a big accomplishment for me!! I was the one who took the lead on this survey and put it together and I was being recognized for it. I can’t say I did this all on my own because I definitely did not. I went to Daniella, Merrick, and Stephanie for feedback and input on the survey, but the fact that I was the one who was in charge of putting this never before done survey together made me feel like this was definitely a personal accomplishment for me.

As I am reflecting on this exciting news I am thinking back to one of the first blogs I wrote earlier this year about making an impact. I talked about how I was told that every GA is known for leaving their mark in some way in our office. I do feel like I’ve done a lot of work and made an impact at work with the different things I’ve done, but I’ve never felt as proud as I did when I saw that email. I honestly feel like this survey is my mark. This is what I’m going to be remembered for. I understand the survey might change slightly and the questions might be adjusted, but I will be the one who started it and I will always remember the recognition I received for it. I was even thinking about a possible interview question of “Tell me about your proudest accomplishment” and I know this is my proudest accomplishment to date. I now feel like I can leave my role as the Graduate Assistant in the Center for Student Success feeling like I’ve made an impact and that I will be remembered. This is an amazing feeling and I am so glad I have reached this place in my career as a Graduate Assistant.

Reflecting on my trip to Qatar

A conversation I had with Jeff last week during lunch got me thinking a lot about my trip to Qatar. He was telling me about his night at his internship in the emergency room at Sharp hospital. He is basically shadowing and working with a current nurse as part of his program. They we headed to the waiting room to pick up a patient and when he read the patient’s name he told the other nurse that he knew exactly how the conversation was going to go. The patient was a Muslim woman and he said that the patient was not going to say anything and her husband was going to do all the talking. Sure enough, he was completely right. He knows quite a bit about the culture since he was deployed in Iraq for a year. I started talking about what I had learned while I was there. Then I started to think back to my reflection paper when I wrote:

“Some of the ones that stick out in my head are the fact that girls/women cannot leave the country without a chaperone until they are 35 years old. I think my mouth fell straight to the floor when I heard that. Another one was that there is no dating there and arranged marriages are quite common…All these things were just so surprising to me and I actually found myself internally criticizing their culture. I kept asking myself how any girl/woman could live like that. I didn’t understand how they don’t just rebel and do what they want. This was actually a huge moment of growth for me. I don’t really consider myself to be a feminist, but I deeply believe in women’s rights and it’s something I’m really passionate about. In fact, for a long time I refused to learn how to cook because I saw that as me fitting into the stereotype of what I’m supposed to be because I’m a female. I’ve gotten over that now, but there are still things I refuse to do because I refuse to fit that stereotype. So when I was hearing about all these things that the girls/women are not allowed to do, it actually made me very angry. I honestly just wanted to know why these girls/women put up with it. Then after thinking about it for a really long time I realized that this is their culture and it’s a part of their lives. They don’t question or rebel against it because they don’t know any different. I realized that just because it’s different than the way I choose to live my life doesn’t make it wrong.”

I honestly do feel like I have grown a lot from this experience because I learned that it was not fair for me to criticize their culture. However, I found it interesting how easy it was for me to have the conversation with Jeff. As I was talking about it and basically criticizing their culture, I realized what I was doing. I was having an internal conflict with myself of I should not be continuing to have this conversation. Instead I should take this opportunity to let Jeff know the reflections I had after my trip to provide the chance for the two of us to have an educational moment together. Even as I’m typing this I’m realizing that even if I had tried that it wouldn’t really make a difference. Because Jeff was in the Army for four years and was deployed to Iraq for a year, he has lost three friends to the wars (in Iraq and Afghanistan). All three of these soldiers are men who he was fairly close with and it was really tough for him to get over their deaths. Because of the deaths of his friends, Jeff has admitted that he often experiences hatred towards Muslims. We have had quite a few conversations about this and he knows that it is not the fault of all Muslims that he lost his friends, but he still struggles not have those feelings come up. I have told him that is understandable that he would have these feelings toward them, but it is still difficult for me to accept. However, I must also recognize that I have not lost anyone close to me because of the war, so I have no idea how he feels. I feel like all I can do at this point is making sure that I am continuing to have these reflections and maybe after some time has passed I can have these conversations with Jeff.

My struggle continues to be that I don’t feel like I’ve completely allowed myself to accept the way the girls/women are treated as their culture. Even as I read through my reflection paper, I found myself getting angry about the way they are treated. During Ethics class a few weeks ago we were asked to think of an example when we went from super-ego to conscience. It was not until some of my other classmates starting giving their examples that I realized my example was. My moment of going from super-ego to conscience is my experience in Qatar, specifically thinking about the way the girls/women are treated in the culture. I realized that I was raised to be independent and never depend on anyone for anything. My mom was raised in a very traditional Mexican household where she would always have to come and do chores and my uncles would get to go out with their friends. My mom made a decision that she was not going to raise my brother and me that way, so we both always had equal amounts of chores to do. I realize that because of this and seeing the way my grandma basically babies my uncles, I have become very judgmental of any woman who follows this traditional way of living. I realized that this was happening way before my trip to Qatar, but it wasn’t until my trip that I realized I did it. It wasn’t until I got into class that week that I realized that it was an example of me going from super-ego to conscience. However, I do still feel there is a lot of work to be done. I still find myself being judgmental, so I need to be very conscience about it and continue to reflect and come to terms with the fact that just because someone chooses to live their life this way does not make it wrong. I may not agree with it and I may feel that it diminishes the power of women, but it is not fair for me to judge someone because of it. Even as I’m writing this I’m realizing that I have a long road ahead of me, but I believe that me realizing it is the first step.

A Blog about Blogging

The idea of doing a blog is something very new to me. I have never even considered doing a blog because I wouldn't even know what to write about. I decided that I should write about my difficulties with this blog because I thought it was important for me to reflect on why this process is so difficult for me. This does not serve as an excuse for my lack of entries, but merely as a means for me to reflect on the process.

When we were first told about the project, my anxiety level instantly went up. I was nervous about the idea of having to do a blog about my experiences. I was also nervous about trying to play catch-up since this is my first year in the cohort. I know it's completely different from the e-portfolio but I still felt that I was at a disadvantage. Overall, this blog has been very difficult for me and I'm not really sure why.

At first, I just didn't know what to write about. I had no idea what I was supposed to be reflecting on. I didn't understand that I could basically write about any of my experiences. It took me a long time to actually start the blog because I just didn't know where to start. Once I did start it I thought it would get easier from there, but I was wrong.

After my first entry it took me a long time to post anything again. I talked with Stephanie about this a lot and I explained to her that I don't know why, but I have a really hard time sitting down and writing. The easy answer to this is that I'm just not used to writing a blog and I don't think about it when I'm thinking about what homework I have to do. However, this is not the only challenge I have. There are times when I do think about it and I just don't do it. I really had to think about what it was that was so challenging for me.

I came to the realization that it's the reflection that is challenging for me. As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, it's hard for me to give credit to myself, so I think that was something I was really nervous about. I didn't know how to write about the things I was doing well and reflect on how it made me feel. Mostly, though, I think I was nervous about admitting to mistakes I've made and how I can learn from them. It's easy for me to reflect internally about what I did wrong and how I can make it better, but putting it in a blog for others to read made me really anxious. This became really clear to me when reflecting on some of my experiences last year with my students. It was really hard for me to write it all down. I obviously realize the value of the process, but it is still difficult for me to write about it. It has been very helpful to write it down and really reflect on it. Does this mean the process is now easy for me? No, not really. I still struggle with this blog, but I do now clearly see the value of it. I will make much more of an effort in my blog, but I think it will continue to be a struggle for me.